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03 mar. 2000

Sorry to repeat myself for those of you who already know about my plans...Here's a copy of my Newsletter.....

"Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another - showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us..." (2 Timothy 3:16&17 - The Message)

Tasks... Hmmm... I don't know all that God has prepared for me, but I trust him with my life. My desire is to look in more depth at God's word and apply it to my life. I long to be changed, so that I may be more like my Father (my heavenly father) and inherit his characteristics.

He has called me to lay down my life in order that I might find it... I believe that God is calling me to go to South Africa (Cape Town) on/around March 9th to do a bible study course for 9 months with YWAM (SBS - 'School of Biblical Studies'). I will study God's word in depth with the help of visiting speakers and resident staff and will have quite a bit of time alone with God, asking the Holy Spirit to rid me of empty religion and interpret scripture.

L...Lay down my life.... ...As I go with excitement that God will reveal himself to me and use me for his work in Cape Town, I leave with sadness too. Following God this coming year means for me that I have to leave Phil in Manchester finishing his degree (after 3 1/2 years of being together). I trust that my father will sustain both of us and will also care for my family as I submit them into his care.

I have also refused my place at university in Manchester, acknowledging that my reasons for going were not to do the degree I had applied for. I believe that God has called me to full time ministry and would love to be in Africa for at least parts of my life. Although I don't know what God has for me after this course, I know that my role as an intercessor, at least, for those in Africa is long term.

Thank you for loving me. Please would you uphold me in your prayers...

I've been a bit slack in sending off my visa application and sorting out practical details, so It's all a bit last minute. Still, I'm praying they will soon be finalised and taken care of.

OOOOooooooh I'm so excited! I'll keep in touch, mainly via e-mail... Love to everyone...

In his care, Laura 

 
	My Cape Town Ad and e-mail...   ctywam@nis.za
	(with 'Laura Bird; SBS 2000' as the subject).
	YWAM, P.O Box 129, Muizenberg, 7950, South Africa.

05 dec. 1999

Hey there everyone!

I know I've been pretty slack in correspondence recently and only one or two know about how my last year has been. I wanted to write and let you all know. Firstly because It has encouraged me so much to hear from those of you who have written, but also b/c despite the trials ( in fact in the middle if them), I can see God's faithfulness and grace in my testimony as I look back.

My prayer for all of you and for me is that we will really know God in the power of the resurrection and will learn to take hold of all that is ours through the covenant we have with him. A covenant where we no longer have to strive to fulfil the law, but where Jesus died so that our failure wouldn't prevent us from knowing the living God...wow....

I'll start from the beginning and I apologise to those of you who know some of this I think this year has been up there with the most difficult in my life so far!

Coming home was really hard. I was aching to see Philip (The guy I've been with for the past 3yrs), but at the same time was apprehensive about how things were going to be between us. Let me explain why......
During the end of Lecture Phase he called in tears one night to say that he had kissed a close friend of his at Uni., Lisa. She was a new Christian who Phil was helping out and one thing led to another. I've never really understood how it could happen, but was devastated when he told me and he was obviously in disbelief himself. He was the person I trusted the most in the world, and whom I loved the most. He had promised me that he'd wait for me, and it hurt so much.
Anyway, after telling him to give me a while to think B/F he phoned again and crying loads, I went to find Inky. She helped me forgive him and take the hurt to God, and within a few days I was at the point of saying that I still had a lot of unanswered Q's, but I couldn't judge him. (The only man who is without sin and has the right to judge him says, "Neither do I condemn you!"...Jn 8:7-11)

I tried to put it behind me and look forward to outreach, since I didn't want to miss out on anything God had for me at that time.

The day I came home I was sad to be leaving such close friends, but I couldn't wait to see Philip again, no matter what he'd put me through. It was a bit strange at the airport. My whole family was there with Phil and I had no idea where to start in the car, so it was pretty silent.

Over that w/e Philip was really distant and had to tell me that he had become intimate with Lisa again. I was crushed...talk about re-entry being hard! To top that off, mum told me she was still angry with God for letting my dad die years ago and didn't believe any more. She told me about a relationship she'd started with a married man (non-Christian) and seemed to be in a real mess.

There were a few other really difficult situations that came up at that time too, which made it so hard for me to deal with anything else. I was desperate to be back with people who cared for and were there for me. Yet God taught me so much about relying only on him during this period of my life...and about not carrying other people and their problems along with me, like I tried to do for my mum for so long; (One of the reasons why she found it so hard when I went away).

To cut a long story short; by God's grace and a lot of prayer to see if my relationship with Phil was worth pursuing, I went up to the city where he's studying and met Lisa... one of the hardest things I've had to do. She was gorgeous....stunning; However, a little shakily and very self consciously, I went up and asked for a hug, which wasn't what she was expecting. She's been hurt so much through all of this too, so over the next few days we prayed together and talked a lot. I think it taught us both loads about forgiveness. Phil and I somehow managed to move on.

He is amazing, and totally committed to me. Please don't judge him by any of this, but let me tell you now about a man who yeah has made some very hurtful mistakes, but who now is so close to God and who challenges me continually....God's forgiveness is amazing. Apart from the occasional pang of jealousy, we have never looked back. I don't know how it's possible, but our relationship is more amazing now than it ever has been and God has even given me back my trust in him. I have learnt too that God is the only one who will never let me down!!

Wow, that was long...Any Q's??

Mum Is still very much in her relationship....phoning, e-mailing and seeing her guy every night. It's so hard...My family is falling apart and instead of running away again as soon as I could, like I so desperately wanted to, God asked me to stay for a short while, until the new year.

Yet, despite the struggle, God has been so faithful.... he really has! A recent church plant left me surrounded by people I didn't know at a time when I was most vulnerable...God made a way for me to leave without hurting anyone, and to be around family who support me and care for me. That's another long story! Also, he provided me with a job where I can train to get a skill... Phlebotomy... taking blood and running tests at the local hospital...the pay's O.K and it's allowing me to save up a bit to go away... although I have a lot of other expenses too!! He also provided me with a car to get around...such a blessing!! My Granddad died and left me it...not the nicest way to get a car, but still it was a blessing.

So now I work full time, try to live in a very difficult family atmosphere, go to Manchester (5hrs away) as much as I can to see Phil, lead a social action team, lead the inter church youth group, lead worship occasionally and various other things. Also recently I have started being discipled by a lady in our church, who I really respect, on a monthly basis and have been trying to spend time with friends from work and set aside time with God.....Not easy, but I'm learning all the time!!

Oh, I'd better back track a wee bit. At a Christian camp at Easter, God showed me that I was only going to Manchester to study so that I could be with Phil and escape home. A few weeks later I cancelled my place at Uni. and told him I would sacrifice everything, even my relationship with Phil to follow him wherever he leads me...it's been a hard choice and many people don't understand, but I know I've done the right thing!!

I am planning to do the SBS (School of Biblical Studies) in Cape Town in March ('till Dec). (The really intensive 9 month thing Jon Syrbe did). I haven't finished all the forms yet and I'm relying on God for the finances, but I really want to do it. Let me tell you a story.....
A poor man scrimped and saved every penny until he could buy a ticket on a great ship to come to England. He only had enough money to buy some cheese and a little bread to eat on the trip. He would gaze longingly into the dining rooms and watch the people eating beautiful food and enjoying themselves. On the morning of their arrival, one of the ship's officers asked the man if they had offended him in any way, since he had not eaten his meals with them. "Oh no", the man replied. "I only had enough money to pay for my ticket. I didn't have enough to eat in the dining rooms." The officer looked at the man almost in unbelief and said, "Sir, I'm so sorry. Your meals were included in your fare."

Sometimes I feel like I'm living on milk and cheese (spiritually) when God's best is mine all the time. I don't know the terms of the contract, the covenant...the bible well enough, and I'm missing out on all God has for me and others through me. That's why I want to do SBS. Yet, I know it will be hard!!!
Also though, I would love to be part of a team going to Sierra Leone in Jan ..... I'm still seeking God as to what he wants me to do right now, but I might do that before the SBS ??? Who knows at the mo. If things don't go ahead with that, then I will be doing my SBS from March-Dec 2000.....Or I guess I might be anyway ...still praying, still seeking! Hope that made sense!!

Phil has another year and a half at Uni., and although the time apart will be hard, we are really serious about each other and I think God has a lot to teach us and show us B/F we can be together. Having said that, we've prayed about getting married, and might get engaged B/F I leave and possibly get married in Autumn 2001?? Unless of course, God leads me somewhere else before coming home. How exciting is that.....cool huh?

Anyway....6 day week at work and I'm bushed (tired, sorry). Speaking of work, just quickly.... One lady who I've been sharing about Jesus with, Letty, Is a refugee from Eritrea (border of Ethiopia). She has been through a lot of hardship and witnessed some horrible things. She had to flee the country or fight for freedom, so she came here. I prayed for her the other night and as I did, she broke down in tears and said about needing Jesus.... wow... I need to keep praying for her though. I love you all heaps, and just looking back on how much God and I have achieved these past months has reminded me again how awesome he is. It's always great to hear form you guys and to know how I can be supporting you in prayer....Safe in his arms,

Laura xxxxx